


He was the sun, and I was the moon.

by QueenOfWhores



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Broken!Bill, Car Accidents, Drabble, Experimental Fiction, FormerlyPopular!Bill, Gore undertones, High School, I wrote this really late into the night, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, Outcast!Bill, POV First Person, Poetic, Popular!Dipper, Sad, Swearing, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, envy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 23:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12782073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfWhores/pseuds/QueenOfWhores
Summary: I had been numb. I had been bitter. Bitter to the world. My mother, whom came uninjured, would come in. Run her fingers through messy, dirty locks, who once were prettier than the crown of the richest of the kings. Her eyes, green and emerald that were livid, dull and glassy with tears. Yet she smiled. Told me everything would be alright. And I fucking hated the broken octaves I found in her voice, I hated the world. I hated myself. And there was nothing I could do about it.





	He was the sun, and I was the moon.

**Author's Note:**

> i've been toying a bit with poetry and i suddenly found inspiration in the middle of the night. i've never tried first person pov before, so this is more experimental than anything. i also don't write that often-- i hope that was sufficient to make the drabble/ficlet enjoyable ^^  
> left unedited, if typos are found they may be fixed

Always. Always by the fucking window, wearing his stupid hat adorned by that ungodly symbol of a tree stamped in the middle. Such trivial things that made the brunette very much well hatefully adorable.

  
His gaze was lost; seeing beyond the wonders of this world. The beams of the sunlight lighted his soft, round face with an ethereal amalgation of warmth. It made him appear innocent; heavenly; beautifully highlighted by what seemed to be thousands of angels in the sky. Yet, none of those puny feathered beings could compare to him. Him. The boy who had ruined my life from the moment I had heard his dumb little laugh. What was the fucking problem of this kid? Why did he exist?

  
My life was so much less of a fucking burden before this fella stepped in. I found myself many times losing sleep, tossing and turning in the warmth of my blankets; my loyal source of company that stood tall even in the darkest of the nights. Moonlight never once had looked beautiful on me; it made me pale. Made me feel, dead. Mirrored everything I hated, everything I wanted to tear the fuck **down** until it existed no more.

  
I was once like him, you see. I wasn't like sunlight. I was like fire. I was gorgeous. Everything that tried to blow me out, only made me dance in the winds of a tempest. What rendered me weak made be far more beautiful. So dangerous. So untouchable. Made me feel so me. And he wasn't only sunlight. No, he was the sun, and I was the moon; the lesser light. He towered above me, mighty and so _blissfully ignorant_ of how much I envied the glow that was once mine.

  
My lips couldn't help but quiver in the middle of class. I sat in the darkest of shadows; shadows that engulfed the tears and made me that much more alone. A waterfall that screamed sadness and loneliness. I didn't usually care for what all thought of me anymore. Until the screeching of car wheels turned into a scream of war; the wailing of two innocent children for help as their mother struggled to get ahold of the raging machine's control. They had spiraled, spiraled into darkness, that wiped his golden glow until it was dead and pale. In one night, all of his life had been taken away from him. He wished he could have died, died alongside the smaller body of a twin who used to play Hide and Seek with him. But the moment was no children's game, because we couldn't hide from death, yet some sought for it. I disregarded the feeling before that. Frankly, it was quite of pathetic to throw your life away like this. Yet... yet the day, I lost my beauty, my eye, who used to be a beautiful glistening shade of blue who could make the most azure of sapphires shatter in envy, had been flooded by an invasive shade of red. Red. Always so fucking red. Red over half of my face, my lips - who used to be stunning with their upper arch, who could open in the most alabaster of smiles - were crooked as black mascara splattered all over my face.

  
I had been numb. I had been bitter. Bitter to the world. My mother, whom came uninjured, would come in. Run her fingers through messy, dirty locks, who once were prettier than the crown of the richest of the kings. Her eyes, green and emerald that were livid, dull and glassy with tears. Yet she smiled. Told me everything would be alright. And I fucking **hated** the broken octaves I found in her voice, I **hated** the world. I **hated** myself. And there was nothing I could do about it.

  
I **hated** the fact I lost my flames in the most turbulent of waters. I wanted my brother back. I wanted my life back. The respect of my classmates, even the femmes who flocked around the king, would stare at me in horror and pity, all before leaving the pride so what once was beautiful could _die_. They would be like sand in his presence; dry, and slipping through his fingers, surely but slowly. I had no support, except for my mom, whoms depression further ate away the green in her eyes until they were gray.

  
I became the moon. I became the fragment of something that was once whole, a ball of fire before being crashed by a fucking meteor and hauling said moon in the sky, to be forever forgotten by the neighbour hellish flames who once spiraled within. Having nobody other than the sun. Whom's charm's existence made the moon both love and envy him. But the moon never dared approach the sun; the moon could burn. The sun would someday die, and the moon would again be left alone, slowly dancing far away in an aimless soliloquy.

  
His intelligence, his adventurous heart and his _content_ made his palms break at how far his nails dug inside. Droplets of that same crimson water cascaded down to join the salty tears, forming an ocean together of red stains against a paper sheet that was long forgotten. The teacher's rambling was muffled, as if he was deaf rather than blind in just one eye. The world was a blurr of ugly colors. However, regardless of how much the canvas was painfully ruined, the main painting of the adorable boy stood the same nitid image before my abnormally small, widow pupil. The doe-eyed human who had become popular among all classmates. Surrounded by happiness and warmth and love. The shadows further enveloped me, like I was the child of the night. They comforted me like the blankets on the fluffy, inviting bed I had at home. The tangle of fabric that willed me to lie down and sleep _forever_ , like the plate under the wax of a candle that so cautiously burnt out.

  
Sometimes I wondered if I could be like all the others. Reach him, touch him. How would he react? He would flinch. He would see the hollowness of my mauled eye, stealing the spotlight of the whole side of me like the craters in a silver sphere supposed to be perfect. I could dream. I could wonder. I could touch him, feel him; do something more than just sit quietly, and observe him. I dared my mind to go far; us, under the evergreen, touching lips. He'd feel my crooked but soft ones, while I would feel his; warm, perfect and shiny like the rest of his sunlight. We'd fall into each other's embrace, him making up for all what I've lost. A fantasy that seemed so far, yet as close as the constellation across the room.

I wanted to express my love him, and I wanted him to love me back, even if deep down I knew, my affection came from envy. If I was beautiful, he'd come to me, and I'd come to him, without asking, without thoughts, because we'd make the perfect match, because even when the sun shines the brightest, the moon could sometimes be seen by it's side.


End file.
